Revenge
by CherryBerryB
Summary: Read Little Arty, In the Past, first. Then Blackmail, then this. Artemis needs to get Holly back for all those little "favours" she had him do, but he has to deal with a few things first...


**HEY PEOPLES! I know I only meant for the last one to be, umm, the last one, but I got a few reviews for a series so I will listen to them. And if you want more, I will give you more.**

**Disclaimer: I am Eoin Colfer who does not need a disclaimer. Wait, scratch that. I am CherryBerryB who DOES need a disclaimer. I hereby state that I do not own Artemis Fowl 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and soon to be 8 or anything pertaining to the series. I DO, however, own the plot line AND this amazing program that lets you write in Gnommish and the original Artemis Fowl font. Ya know, the writing they used before Disney screwed up the series covers. See my profile for details 8)**

**(BTW-if I offended u in my authors note in "Blackmail", I am sorry and I didn't mean anything by it. Plz do not eat me. Thank-you)**

Artemis Fowl rubbed his temples in irritation. There was no way to get back at Holly without being the laughing stock of the entire Lower Elements without addressing these nuisances.

Firstly, he needed to get that embarrassing picture back. But the thing was, to get the digital copy, he'd need to hack into Foaly's personal laptop, and that was something he couldn't do unless he could get down under and onto the internet. This wasn't a huge problem, but there was still the extremely likely chance of Holly having the paper copy, and that could very well be at her own house.

"Artemis Fowl, what are you scheming on now," asked an invisible voice.

He sighed (which he seemed to be doing a lot in the past few weeks). "Hello, Holly. What is the task you'd like me to do today, hm? Would you like your laundry done, again? Or, rid you house of stink worms? No, wait. Don't tell me. Anti-troll spray on the lawn. The stench of that is horrid."

Holly unshielded and chuckled. "Nothing so terrible. My computer is slow and needs to be cleaned out. I just decided that a genius could probably do the task much faster than me, and that being done for free is just a lovely little bonus. Foaly would do it, too, but he charges a barrel of carrots an hour, and most of that time is spent writing fake statuses on my FairyFace account." She grinned.

Artemis moaned, but he smirked on the inside. _Simple, really._ It's too bad he wasn't a phlegm reader.

XxAFxX

"I'll be back, soon! I just have to grab so groceries," Artemis heard a slam from Holly's front door, and then all was quiet.

The young genius cracked his knuckles, then set to work. He could see why Foaly had wasted a few hours on the fairy equivalent of the internet; this was incredibly easy and boring stuff. He finished after few minutes, then went to work looking hacking into Foaly's laptop, which was also quite effortless, as Holly had his personal e-mail programmed into her computer*.

After deleting the picture (which he did with great joy), Artemis went about looking for the hard copy. In the kitchen cabinets…nope. Under the couch cushions…nope. On the top shelf near the door…nope. He was just about to open the first drawer in Holly's bureau when he felt a jolt of electricity from his behind. Looking up from the floor, he saw a certain female elf watching him with a fire in her eyes and a buzz baton in hand.

"And what do you think you were doing looking through my underwear?"

Artemis turned a certain shade of red that almost reminded Holly of Root. "Uh, Holly…you see, um, I…can explain…"

The captain raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Well, then, do go on."

The mud boy opened his mouth, then closed it, hanging his head.

Holly silently snickered. This was just too much fun. Openly, though, she just smiled patronizingly. "Were you, perhaps, looking for this?"

And there, in her hand, was the picture Artemis had been searching for. The cause of all his recent problems…and all he could do is stare at it.

"May I ask where you keep that?"

"I keep it on me. Are you going to ask for specifics?"

"Aah, no thank-you."

Holly smirked again. "Good. You wouldn't want to know."

All Artemis could do was turn a deeper shade of crimson again, and scuttle out the bedroom door.

**Ok, I'm pretty sure this one wasn't as funny as the last two, since they were such a riot. Sorry about that! (though it always stands to show that the authoress thinks her stories aren't as funny as they actually are)**

**This fic was supposed to end with Arty winning, but it didn't seem as funny that way, so I went feminist instead 8)**


End file.
